The Next Chance
by StarletBeauty
Summary: Harry has thoughts...thoughts that he cannot control. He has hopes....hopes that he pray's may be realized. Should he open his eyes and see the truths he is trying to fight? Not a complete romance, deals a lot with Harry coming of age in his fifth year.
1. Crush

Harry rolled over in his bed and threw his eyes towards the gray ceiling. Only three more weeks, he thought. His tiny bedroom next to his cousin's, Dudley was like a prison to him. It had only been a short, unfinished, summer since Harry had encountered his worst nightmare, and the images were still fixed in his mind like a horrid family portrait. He had seen a lot since arriving at Hogwarts those almost four years prior. He had seen things any other wizard would have crumbled under, yet he, little Harry Potter, hadn't. He could have died so many times, in almost every instance he felt his ominous fate draw nearer and deafeningly more tangible. He didn't like to dwell on these thoughts, however.  
  
He knew what Ron would say if he knew Harry was contemplating his own victories and near deaths, though both definitions seemed to be inaccurate statements. "Jeeze, Harry, I don't think you should think about it. Wanna play some chess, then, that'll get your mind off it don't you think?" Chess was Ron's favorite thing, and seemed to be his answer to all things appearing unanswerable. Harry chuckled at the thought of Ron suggesting to play chess as a key to the thing that petrified his mind so blatantly. Then his mind drifted to Hermione. She worries too much, he thought first off. "No Harry," She would say with a glass breaking rise in her voice. "We should stay focused; you know that, we can't go around expecting to be taken care of. You must take care of yourself. I remember reading about a spell to cure uneasiness." Her voice trailed off in his mind as he had no clue as to how she would finish that sentence. Ron and he didn't read nearly as much Hermione would like, therefore Harry couldn't know the ingredients for a heartache curing spell.  
  
Ron and Hermione. What was going on with those two, he thought as he envisioned them bickering that night after the Yule Ball in the Gryffindor common room. In Ron's last letter he had, rather conspicuously, questioned Hermione's whereabouts and loyalty. This, too, made Harry laugh.  
  
Harry~  
  
Ron here, obviously. How is everything? Mum sends her love along with that batch of mint bars. Says she knows the Dursley's don't feed you enough to keep any muggle, let alone wizard, alive for long. She wanted to send more, but Pig about fell off the counter with just these. We all miss you and I'm anxious for you to be able to come already! Mum and Dad say they expect news from Dumbledore any day now granting them permission to fetch you. Have you talked to Hermione lately? She sent me an owl with a leai from Hawaii, but that was over a fortnight ago. She mentioned stopping off in Bulgaria with her family, didn't mention Krum, but you know she will be seeing him. Think she will stay loyal to us, Harry? How can we be so sure? That sneak Krum, I still say he is not just interested in Hermione. KarKaroff was his head master and we all know he was a big supporter of you- know-who. Sorry Harry, didn't mean to mention him, just went down onto the paper. Write back, and I will let you know about coming out.  
  
Ron  
  
Oh, P.S. Ginny says hi. (laugh)  
  
Harry didn't quite know what to make of all of this. His best friends had the warm fuzzies for each other? This thought did not make him laugh, however. It gave him a sickening feeling of being left out. He put the idea out of his head. He knew Ron and Hermione would never desert him. Then being deserted drove his thoughts back to the Tri-Wizard Championship. He had been alone, he had not had Ron's strength, or Hermione's cleverness and he had made it. But this thought only solidified that feeling that Ron and Hermione could get along fine without him, and worse,  
  
Harry could as well. Harry loathed that.  
  
Then thoughts of Sirius flooded his consciousness and he felt some warmth back in his toes. Sirius seemed to always, somehow, set all things right in Harry's head. He knew he could get on now that he had Sirius, and that was a comfort. Harry ran his index finger over the jagged scare on his forehead. He knew it was the mark of a terrible curse, he knew that it was a warning tool when danger was near, he hadn't realized it quite possibly was also an indicator of heart ache.  
  
Subsequently Harry's mind wafted towards another person, though maybe not so much in his life as the other occupiers of his thoughts. Harry was not a normal boy, for one he had spent much of his youth conjuring spells in an enchanted castle used as a school of witchcraft and wizardry for a lot of young people who meandered around in cloaks carrying wands. For another, his parents had been murdered by a wizard, who had gone terribly wicked, just after his first birthday, leaving him alone and forever blemished. But, like all normal, muggle-born boys, Harry had crushes. And his was the pretty 6th year Cho Chang, a damn fine Quidditch player and inaccessibly popular Ravenclaw. But for Harry, it wasn't attaining Cho that caused his heart to race; it was the thought that he someday could, which kept him up at night.  
  
But, tonight Harry found himself thinking of another girl that had entered his life unexpectedly and vanished even more swiftly. He knew it was silly, he knew he would have quite a bit of explaining to do were someone to read his thoughts. He knew that Ron would huff about her being part veela, and that Hermione would sound off on him endlessly. But Harry didn't want to worry about what his friends would say, he didn't want to continue in unease on the disapproving thoughts of his friends, he just wanted to fall asleep remembering her running down the steps in front of Hogwarts after saying good bye to him. That's enough, he thought, to put the rest to ease. And he closed his eyes and drifted finally into a slumber.  
  
  
  
Author note: This is only the first installment, let me know what you think if you like. 


	2. Touched

He awoke in a sweat, this time it was not his scar that caused the pain. Harry could feel his heart swelling to unnatural sizes and palpitating at speeds that mortified him to his core. He forced his eyes to open. The emerald balls searched the room swiftly, as though seeking out the answer to the cause of the rapidity of his heart rate. Then it came flooding back to him.  
  
He was standing on a barren cliff. The wind was whirling around him, blowing the tall grass like wheat in a field. His glasses had fallen from his eyes and he was searching for them, his arms outstretched, skimming the ground lightly. Then he felt it, a hand was on his, but a hand like no other he had felt before. It was warm and soft, and it instantly caused a torrent of warmth, similar to the effects butterbeer had on a bitter winter day, to course through him. He looked up and he felt his eyes clearing, then he saw her. Her ivory skin was glowing in the light of the setting sun. Her silvery-blonde hair was slowly blowing away from her face. He could see her deep azure eyes staring unblinkingly at him, blazing into his. Then she smiled. Her gleaming white teeth seemed to be even more perfect than he had remembered. Her laugh came next, it rippled through him like a volt of lightning, and, for a moment, he wished he could feel that forever. But then he heard her speak, and he knew; this was what he wanted forever.  
  
" "Arry, I 'ave missed you." She reached a warm hand to his face, stroked it slowly and leaned forward as though to kiss him. He allowed himself to move towards her, closing his eyes. But she instead vanished, and he was alone on the cliff. Alone, hazy eyed, and eerily cold again. Then a green light began to burst from inside his body, it split him in pain and he fell to the ground. He heard his glasses break beneath his body. Then, above him, somewhere he could not see, he heard another voice. A voice that he could never mistake for its penetrating hiss and rasp: Voldemort.  
  
"You will not escape me this time."  
  
Harry tried to banish the memory. Was Fleur okay? Was Voldemort as near as he felt? Harry did not know what to make of it. He tried to stand, but his legs buckled beneath him and he fell to his bedroom floor. Harry wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He could feel it welling inside of him. He needed Ron and Hermione. He longed for Sirius' guidance. But he was too old, he thought, to let them know what was going on. Harry stood at last to his feet and walked weakly to the window.  
  
He looked out at the moon. It was massive and glowing brilliantly in the sky as though it knew something that Harry didn't, and Harry knew the moon was right. He surveyed the land, this land seemed like a foreign country to him. He recognized that it was not his world, but he still tried to glimpse something familiar. Through the sky flew something small and white. It was swiftly approaching his window.  
  
"Hedwig!" He almost screamed her name, a slight relief breaking through his aching. She bobbed in and perched herself on his arm, a piece of parchment tied securely to her claw. He pulled her through the window and set her into her cage, she squawked with triumph. Harry went to the floorboard which underneath held all his treasures. He broke off a piece of the mint bar he had received from Mrs.Weasley and put it into the cage for Hedwig to nibble on. She nipped his hand in gratitude and commenced devouring the morsel.  
  
Harry turned his attention then to his letter. He unrolled it hastily, he knew it was probably nothing, quite possibly a list of school supplies from Hogwart's, but that would be something, he thought. It was not a letter from Hogwart's. It was in fact a letter from Ron.  
  
"Ron!" He exclaimed, and a crooked smile spread across his charming face, he had almost forgotten he had sent him a letter.  
  
Harry,  
  
Sorry it took so long to write, I am sure you missed Hedwig. Mum has received word from Dumbledore regarding your visit this summer. YOU CAN COME! He says that it is quite okay for us to fetch you now. Mum wanted to send some cakes and things with Hedwig, but she says she'll just stuff you once we have gotten you. Don't worry about the muggles, we can handle them. We'll be arriving on Friday at 6 pm. Best if the muggles are out of the house, remember what happened last time? Talk to you soon!  
  
Ron  
  
Bugger, P.S. I heard from Hermione, she is back in England and will also be staying over for the remainder of the summer as well. Told me she did not see Krum, good to know she can remain dependable, was worried for a bit.  
  
Harry's half-smile grew rapidly in a full on grin. He was so relieved by the news of finally being rid of the Dursley's, and the terrible grapefruit diet, and the solitude of his tiny, plain bedroom; that he nearly forgot about the ominous dream he had just awakened from. He lay down on the bed and fell head long into sleep once again. 


End file.
